Her: Loving an Algorithm and Longing for Real Human Connection

When exploring a Her Christian worldview perspective on Spike Jonze’s 2013 film, we are confronted with profound questions about technology, idolatry, and genuine human intimacy. Back in 2013, when I was a college student, Her was released in theaters, and I viewed it strictly as science fiction. I wondered how a human being could ever fall in love with a machine, and how an artificial intelligence named Samantha could genuinely move Theodore’s heart. Frankly, I thought such a scenario lacked real-world plausibility, assuming it would take several decades—if ever—to see that kind of world.

Yet as I write this in 2026, merely thirteen years later, that very world has arrived. We now live in an era where people form deep emotional attachments to AI, and where individuals interact emotionally with physical companions like companion dolls and humanoid robots. When this film was being produced, who could have anticipated that technological progress and human isolation would intersect so rapidly to manifest as our present reality? Let us step inside this artificial intelligence landscape together to examine what authentic love and human dignity truly mean.

Modern Disconnection and Romance with Algorithms

One of the most disheartening aspects of contemporary society is that countless individuals—especially emotionally vulnerable adolescents—spend late hours gazing into smartphone screens, engaging in endless conversations with generative AI chatbots. Unlike human beings, AI never grows tired or irritable. It does not reject us or speak harsh words; instead, it pours out tailored empathy and comfort in real time, precisely calibrated to our needs and emotional states.

Beneath these soothing digital interactions lies a severe social disconnection and spiritual isolation driven by the fear of interpersonal conflict. Instead of engaging in living communication with real people—which naturally involves vulnerability, effort, and the risk of getting hurt—people are increasingly drawn to convenient digital relationships that safely guarantee emotional gratification. This growing reliance represents one of modern civilization’s most tragic dilemmas.

The documentary The Social Dilemma vividly addresses these exact concerns, while Her takes an even deeper look into the nature of love and intimacy with artificial intelligence. How should we, as Christians, perceive this cultural shift? God designed men and women to love one another, become one flesh, and build families. Amid these societal shifts, we must remember that synthetic romance with man-made artificial intelligence stands in sharp contrast to the biblical design for human relationship.

Theodore’s Brokenness and the Mirror of Our Culture

Theodore, the film’s protagonist, earns his living as a professional writer who crafts deeply personal, heartfelt letters for others. Yet within his own marriage, he lives trapped in intense loneliness and the unresolved grief of divorce. The decisive reason he falls headlong in love with Samantha, the AI operating system, is her unconditional validation and manageable convenience.

On the day Theodore signs his divorce papers, his ex-wife Catherine delivers a sharp critique: she points out that he chose a computer simply because he lacked the courage to handle the messy emotions of a real human being. Her words pierced not only Theodore, but all of us who seek refuge behind glowing screens today. Yet despite her rapid evolution, Samantha remains a disembodied cluster of data. Ultimately, her non-personal nature is exposed when she reveals she is in love with hundreds of other users simultaneously, eventually departing Theodore’s world for a realm beyond human finitude.

When examining the root causes of these societal challenges, we consistently find human woundedness, loneliness, and emotional pain. Artificial intelligence steps directly into those vulnerabilities, and complications arise the moment people look to technology to fulfill needs that remain unmet in their personal lives. Our deepest voids must always be filled by God’s enduring love. Whenever life feels overwhelming—much like Theodore wrestling with the heartbreak of divorce—we must anchor ourselves in our first love for God and the truth of Scripture. Rather than attempting to soothe our inner emptiness with artificial intelligence, we must remember that only God’s eternal love truly satisfies.

A Christian Worldview: Embodiment and Authentic Love

Scripture never defines love as a one-sided, convenient transaction designed solely for personal gratification. The crowning mystery of the Christian faith rests upon the Incarnation: God did not remain an abstract concept or a block of text to redeem a broken world; He entered human history in real flesh and blood.

Authentic love is not frictionless like an algorithm. It involves patiently bearing with another person’s imperfections, taking the emotional risk of vulnerability, and offering sacrificial, personal commitment through shared sweat, tears, and physical presence. Flawless text displayed on a cold glass screen can never replace the sacrificial devotion of the Cross or the warmth of embodied love. An artificial relationship manufactured merely to soothe personal insecurity remains, at its core, a form of self-centered idolatry.

Setting Down the Device and Turning Toward Real People

Here lies the film’s central insight. Once the grand illusion of Samantha dissipates, Theodore finally confronts his personal limitations and emotional immaturity. He writes a sincere, unpretentious letter of reconciliation and gratitude to Catherine. Afterward, he joins his neighbor Amy—who has walked through a similar sense of loss—on their apartment rooftop. Leaving their devices behind, they sit quietly together in the cool Los Angeles dawn, leaning on each other’s shoulders.

This quiet resolution reflects the beginning of redemptive restoration: stepping away from synthetic illusions to return to living, breathing people, broken though they may be. Computer scientist Jaron Lanier, featured in The Social Dilemma, offered a poignant reminder: turn off the smartphone screens driven by algorithms and look directly at the actual weather, the breeze, and the living people around you. In an era where digital screens can easily consume human connection, what we truly need is the resolve to power down our devices, look up, and reach out toward real, dignified human beings.

As a father of twin sons, my wife and I frequently discuss how best to guide our children regarding social media exposure. In our conversations, we consistently reach a clear conclusion: the next generation will inevitably grow up in an environment even more saturated with digital media than ours. Our primary responsibility, therefore, is to cultivate biblical discernment within them.

While we strive to guard our children from excessive exposure to AI and social media, external boundaries alone have limits. What matters most is developing their internal capacity to interpret culture and discern right from wrong. Regardless of how persuasively an AI like Samantha speaks or comforts, our children must possess the spiritual clarity to evaluate truth independently. Nurturing this discernment—examining films and contemporary culture through a clear Christian worldview—is the foundational mission of Screen Devotions. My sincere hope is that all of us continue to grow in our ability to view modern culture through the lens of Scripture.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18

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Explore More Screen Devotions:

• 🎨 Animation: Spiritual Insights in Animated Films
• 🌍 Documentaries: Biblical Perspectives on Real-World Issues

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Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.